刮痧

基本上，剧情不太合理。梁家辉作为一个到美国生活了这么长时间的人，连不能够打孩子这么一点基本意识都没有吗？到了法庭上，本来几个词可以说清楚的事情，Chinese alternative therapy/massage，就是不说，光知道发脾气。如果不是有一个超级负责人的法官，这局面怎么收拾得了。要表现文化冲突也要合理一点才好啊。

   When a member of one culture produces a message for consumption by a member of another culture, intercultural communication occurs, which is a kind of communication between people whose cultural perceptions and symbol systems are distinctive enough to alter the communication event. People are alike and different. We carry our culture with us wherever we go, and it influences how we respond to the people we meet.
   The leading man in the movie Gua Sha Treatment has been in America for eight years as a new immigrant. At the beginning of this movie, the man, Datong addressed a speech in American way to show his love to America and American dream. It seemed that he has gained great success in the American mainstream society. Yet it was just an exaggeration of his success when used to make the comparison with the ensuing events.
   Datong and his wife were born and raised in China, while their son was a Chinese American. They taught their son in American way and spoke English all the time. In the celebration, we can find Datong was praised and encouraged by his boss, who can be taken as a representative of the mainstream business. At the party, because of the quarrel between the two children, the son, Dennis was beaten by his father, which is just a very common action in Chinese culture. The grandfather of Dennis also admitted the way of education. Because the other boy is the son of his boss, Datong gave his son a lesson to show his respect to the boss, who can not understand it at all. The boss was shocked and accepted it temporarily. In American culture, individualism is the key point of American cultural pattern, even between the father and the son. But in Chinese cultural pattern, fathers have the right or responsibility to educate the sons, no matter in a legal way or his personal way. We tend to take it as family privacy, instead of family violence or child abuse. In traditional Chinese culture, family conflict is often solved between family members and it’s a shame to spread family conflict outside of the house, while in America, the law and regulations make the difference.
   There was a very plain role in this movie, Lao Huo, the man who acted terra-cotta warrior, which was a loser in pursuing American dream compared with Datong. There were only the daily life and death of Lao Huo in this movie, which reflected the pursuit and struggling of an ordinary person in America. The death of him made the father of Datong think a lot, which was a clue to tell us the old man will return to China finally. According to the two different results of pursuing American dream, two different result of cultural conflict revealed.
   After the Gua Sha treatment rendered by the grandfather, Datong and his wife accepted it because of their Chinese culture background and the previous experience. It’s natural for the couple to keep the accident of child abuse secret to their father. And Datong confessed it was he who gave the treatment to the child, although his wife showed a little reluctance and hesitance. Actually his father gave the Gua Sha treatment to the son. There was an obvious culture difference in the episode. Chinese people behave on the basis of experience, while American act with the reference to the specific evidence. It’s praiseworthy for Datong to be a scapegoat for his father. In Chinese traditional culture, the law is important but sometimes affection counts. It’s dutiful and responsible to reduce the pains of parents both in China and America. If Datong admitted his father gave the treatment to the child and his to father will be accused by the court. Although it’s lawful, it’s unfilial in Chinese culture, which is an unforgivable fault.
Chinese view on interpersonal relationship network has been illustrated richly in this movie. When Datong needed a lawyer to help him, he sought help of his friend, who is actually not a lawyer of family law, but copyright law. Because of the lack of legal knowledge and the good relationship between them, Datong insisted on his help. Before the hearing commenced, Datong’s wife asked why the court was not the same as she saw before on TV. The tiny episode accounted for the difference between the judicial systems. Because Datong was in trouble, he turned to his friend for help, regardless of his professional field. Chinese weak legal consciousness was also criticized and satirized in this movie and Datong’s family became victims of culture shock.
   Although Gua Sha treatment is common and effective in China, we never tried to understand how it worked. We learned our culture from folk tales, mass media, and education. Culture is transmitted from generation to generation, so we never question the therapy. Everyone is a product of his own culture, it’s undoubted for American to have nothing idea about the treatment. But we can also find strong prejudice and ethnocentrism of America in the response to the case.
   The trial of this child abuse case could be regarded as the climax of this film. Datong’s family fights against the charge, which is an intense conflict between the Chinese and American cultures. Traditional medical treatment cannot be proved and admitted. They have no interest in proving why Gua Sha treatment is advisable but tried to prove how much the couple loves their son. The judgment and condemnation are just based on the scratch, the judge never showed a fair and sensible attitude to the medical treatment. Chinese classical book Journey to the West is considered from the negative perspective, even though the accuser knew it was wrong. The malicious and deliberated objection described American competition and materialism. The aim of the dispute is just for the victory in the court, regardless of the wicked ways. The prejudice and discrimination are two apparent obstacles in the intercultural communication. Moreover, the ethnocentrism of America was also perceivable. The judge and the accuser never showed justice to Datong’s rebuttal. Because of the ignorance of the treatment, they were very indifferent and pride to Datong’s statement. This uncooperative attitude made this event worse. It seems all of them are well-educated and civilized, but the communication problems repeatedly arose. Both of the parties held respective strong cultural background and different values, which have implemented enormous impact.
   Additionally, the stereotyping to Chinese or easterners are mentionable. When Datong said he hit his son to save his boss’ face, to make him feel better. The boss felt it was twisted and absurd. When Datong said it was a common sense to save his wife rather than the child, the female accuser said, your Orientals are barbarian. Stereotypes were a means of organizing our images into fixed and simple categories that we use to stand for the entire collection of people. In most distances, stereotypes are the products of limited, lazy, and misguided perceptions. In the movie, some Americans never delete their confirmation bias and tend to put Chinese to shame. Then, the failure in intercultural communication occurs.
   According to Hall’s high-context and low-context communication, the Asian mode of communication is often indirect and implicit, whereas western communication tends to be direct and explicit-that is, everything needs to be stated. Westerners are more prone to making very explicit statements and have little capability with nonverbal forms of expression. High-context cultures tend to be more aware of their surroundings and their environment and do not rely on verbal communication as their main information channel. According to the analysis of the movie, we can find the difference between high-context and low-context communication. At the beginning, Datong’s wife disliked the grandfather’s smoking, but she said nothing directly and opened the window. Certainly the grandfather understood it easily. On the contrary, Americans often get permission first. And if they want to show the objection, they spoke it out. But it’s not impolite and respectful to ask the elder not to do something. When Chinese show their anger, it is also implicit. Datong was very angry to his boss, because he has thought his boss would help him on this issue. Datong hoped his boss to support him, but the fact that the boss told everything straightforward, which was unfavorable to Datong. In Datong’s view, they were friends and it’s responsible for the boss to help him and he took the frankness of his boss as a kind of betrayal. He was unwilling to work there any more and planned to quit that job after no discussion with his boss. It’s normal to a Chinese man to show his anger and express their spilt relationship. From the perspective of the American, it has nothing to do with their friendship. It’s reasonable and lawful to tell the judge all the truth. They don’t show personal emotions in the business and persuaded Datong to work, which is a way to show his kindness and concern.
The ending of this movie is happy and warm. The boss understood Gua Sha treatment and Datong’s family gained reunion on the important western festival. No matter in East or West, family reunion and family love are enjoyable and happy. In the end, the grandfather educated and taught his son again. It was warm and moving because we can feel the father’s love; no matter he expressed his love explicitly or implicitly. The grandfather left America because he found it was troublesome and upset for a person like him to live in the Western culture. It was a failure for an elderly like him in intercultural communication, and it was a success for the young generation in America.
   The last episode in the movie was the boy’s learning mandarin, which was a strong contrast to the beginning of the movie, where the boy was educated to speak English to prepare for the competition of the future. No culture is more advanced than others and cultural diversity should be advocated and protected. Human brain is an open system and supposed to appreciate the diversity.
Finally, the name of the leading man in this movie, “Datong”, is also a Chinese Confucian classical term, which means great harmony. Obviously, the name was created with the implied meaning. “Datong” society is the perfect and ideal society in Confucianism, which conveyed the hope and wish of the movie producers. Although there are so many different countries, cultures, systems, races, etc, it’s a pursuit to build such kind of harmonious society without discrimination, prejudice, conflict, war…

Because He Is Chinese: Chinese Immigrants’ Struggle for the recognition of American Society
—The Maze of Different Value Systems and The Disillusion of Those Outsiders’ Daydream

Brief Introduction to the Movie:
  Datong Xu and his wife Jian Ning have been lived in America for eight years; through struggle they have made great success in their career and with their son Dennis they live a very happy life.
Xu’s father comes from China to visit his family. While there, he gives his grandson a harmless traditional Chinese medical treatment of Gua Sha, which the local authorities wrongly regard as child abuse. The family goes through a very hard time when the child is taken away by the child protection agency. Meanwhile, the Xu’s father leaves America because he finds that the living environment is really not suitable for him, as he feels that Gua Sha, which is so common in China is treated as child abuse in America. Worst of all, he cannot converse in English.
Eventually, an American friend of Datong tries Gua Sha and proves that the treatment leaves painful-looking marks that are not actually harmful at all. And the end result sees that Dennis is returned home and the family is reunited.

Movie Analysis: with a focus on pieces taken from the movie
Value Systems deeply rooted in Different Cultures Do Make Clashes
As is shown to us, despite the fact that Datong, with his wife has been to the States for eight years, deep in his heart his root is in China and some of the most fundamental viewpoints of his are still typical Chinese style.
Scene one: at the very beginning of this movie Dennis and the son of Datong’s friend Quinlan have a fight and Dennis beats the other boy, then Dennis goes to play computer games. Let’s see what Datong has done to his son: he shuts down the computer, beats his son and asks him to apologize to Quinlan’s son, an act making the Quinlan family feel confused and puzzled.
Now you see, having lived in America has made Datong look like an American citizen and has gained him a good reputation as an American computer game designer; however, it fails to change his value system since he is brought up in China and mainly educated there. Family structure and their inherent relationships and obligations are a major source of cultural difference. (Xu, page 94) And differences between west and east in value systems occur, thus making the culture clashes: Quinlan never did this to his son, so he can’t understand Datong’s deed and feel quite surprised.
Scene two: at the hearing Datong shows his fury and “overacts” as he witnesses someone saying something bad about Chinese culture, making people present at the court feel so astonished.
As we all know, the curt is a sacred place and no one should be led by his own emotion and behave rudely to the judge, as this is an offense to sobriety of the law and the legal system. Complex as the scene may appear to be, what causes Datong’s deeds can be carefully reasoned:
Here again come the cultural clashes: American culture is so different from ours that they may not be able to correctly comprehend and decode our culture; this has caused the person who has said something bad about Chinese culture at the court misperceive our culture, which is a sad truth. When somebody misunderstands your motherland, what will you do? Of course we’ll fight back and defend our country, wherever and whenever. And this, is the very answer to Datong’s deeds at the court.
Cultural Conflicts and Its Causation
We should admit the fact that this is a movie full of cultural conflicts, among which the different opinions towards Gua Sha and the unhappy life of Datong’s father in America should be the most serious two. Gua Sha, along with the life experience of Datong’s father, can be taken as the two significant factors when we are studying the clue of this movie.
Scene Three: Dennis is taken away from Datong’s family because of the seemingly painful-looking marks left by the treatment Gua Sha.
Here the mark is taken for the testimony that Datong’s family has abused the child; however, Chinese people, as the inventor and practitioner of this traditional treatment, will never come to the conclusion that this is harmful to the patients. Unfortunately, probably no Chinese has thought of the problem that Americans don’t make sense of this treatment; and also, probably no Americans have realized that Gua Sha is not a punishment or abuse but a way to heal people’s illness.
Misconceptions from both sides has jointly led to the cultural conflicts, both sides need to retrospect themselves and communicate with each other, which in the movie we can hardly see. And the movie is the reflection of the reality, though a little unwilling to accept the fact, we have no choice but to face this serious problem: lack of understanding and interaction between different cultures.
Scene Four: Datong’s father, finding it extremely difficult to live in a totally different environment and feeling a sense of loneliness, finally leaves for China.
The life of an old person living in a foreign country is always a heated topic to be discussed. Today I’ll focus on the conflicts part:
The grandfather, symbol of the Chinese traditional culture and the Chinese past, is confronted with modern America and the contemporary American mainstream culture. It is obvious that these two differ in lots of aspects, and of course so many differences are to cause cultural conflicts, in which the Datong’s father is too weak to fight back and have no choice but to return to its own culture.
What has made a Chinese old man face those cultural conflicts? The reasons are as follows: living environment, language, worldview and values, etc. And in all those elements, I think the unfamiliarity of an unacquainted culture should be the most striking one.

Conclusion Part:
American Dream? So Hard to Achieve for a Chinese Immigrant
  Do you still remember the words said by Datong Xu at the start of the movie when he is addressing his prize-winning speech? In his speech he says that if he can keep working hard he will one day become a real, successful American, American as he has thought of is a country full of opportunities and he is the lively example, and at last he says he loves America and that’s his American Dream.
  Sarcastically, the start of the movie turns out to be Datong’s peak, and then both his career and his life have become worse and worse. It is certain that the family is reunited and things begin to become better, but you can’t deny the fact that Datong’s American Dream is actually ruined and disillusioned, maybe through time he will soon “recover”, but the pain left by the tragic memory of this incident is sure to last long.
  In his famous novel The Great Gatsby Fitzgerald wrote the famous sentence: So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past (Fitzgerald, page 224). American Dream is far away from those immigrants, the famous Chinese writer Zhu Ziqing has once said: “but the happiness is theirs, I have nothing.” And this theory can also be adapted here: the American dream is American’s, they immigrants have nothing. Even Americans themselves can’t easily realize their dream, how about immigrants?
  And what has made this? Of course the difference of culture and value systems! To solve this problem, we still have a long way to go.

  The name Datong means great harmony, I guess it is not only the ultimate goal of the director but also the ultimate goal of people all around the world. It comes as no surprise that it is of vital importance to realize this goal, but there still exist a great number of obstacles, especially in the aspect of culture and communication. What should we do? Just keep walking, keep fighting and trying hard to build bridges between different cultures and help them understand each other to fulfill our dreams.
  If one day the great harmony arrives, the world will take on a new look and the earth will make a true global village.

这片子是最初在英语视听课上看了一点片段，觉得很感兴趣，今天刚好空了，于是在线把它看完了，最后我没想到我居然看哭了。
 
《刮痧》讲的是东西方的文化差异：从在街头卖画白手起家的许大同终于经过多年奋斗得到了美国上流社会的认可，因为想要全家团聚，把北京的老父亲接来美国同住。小孙子丹尼斯某日肚子疼，老父亲因为看不懂药瓶上的英文，于是便用中国传统的刮痧疗法给孙子治疗。不想后来孙子在社区医院的一次检查中被发现了背上的淤痕，因为被儿童福利机构认为有遭受虐待的嫌疑，大同夫妇遭到起诉。
影片中的大同虽然在影片一开始得奖时的感言全然表现出他以融入美国社会而自豪，但骨子里完全是个中国男人。他认为管教丹尼斯的那一巴掌是为了向他的老板兼好友SHOW THE RESPECT，后来在听证会上为了怕影响父亲的绿卡签证毅然说刮痧是他而不是他父亲做的，对听不懂英文的父亲一直隐瞒丹尼斯被儿童福利机构带走的事，为的是怕他担心。
作为我本人，并不喜欢这种压抑自己并超额为别人着想的做法，我们这一代人的思维方式已然是西化了。但我却在后来深深地为这样的一个父亲而感动：因为法庭认为大同是一个危险人物和不合格的父亲，为了能让丹尼斯回家，他们夫妻不得不分居；在那个脏乱的出租屋里，许大同颓废地酗酒；他的妻子简宁来看望他，劝他别喝了不听，便干脆同他一起喝起来（我很喜欢简宁这个角色，在我看来她是影片中对所有事情处理和适应得最好的一个角色），喝醉了以后，她骂他是个混蛋，大同醉醺醺地应道：“是，我是个混蛋。”俩人大笑，她又说：“那我是什么……婊子？”简宁也是开着玩笑想释放一下，没想到大同听到这句话却痛苦不已，把杯子和酒瓶都砸了，连续叫道：“不要这么说！”圣诞夜，丹尼斯在电话里要大同promise一定回家，他不知该怎么拒绝，最后答应了，我本以为这只是一个哄孩子的骗局（看来我是小时候被骗惨了= =）。接下来出现的场景是大同在寒风中在露天公园里为一只长毛绒玩具猴子画上孙悟空的脸谱，有人前来抢劫他，他把钱都掏了出来给劫匪，没想到劫匪顺手还牵走了那只猴子，结果刚才还表现懦弱的大同冲上去一下子把劫匪扑倒在地一顿狠揍，口中大骂：“你这混蛋！这是给我儿子的圣诞节礼物！”故事最后的高潮，就是大同扮成圣诞老人从楼房外的下水管道爬上九层楼给儿子送礼物的那一幕。此时他的老板，在他辞职时说“这是什么混帐中国逻辑”的好友，已经亲自去中国城体验了刮痧，并作为证据找到起诉方，争取到了对方同意取消诉讼，并且刚把这个好消息带给简宁。大同从窗口回到家中的那一刻，一家人相拥在一起，故事终于走向大团圆结局。
 
这部片子的人物塑造都比较典型，情节也是戏剧性的，一个巧合套一个巧合，所有的情节冲突显然是因为浓缩过了而显得很紧凑，所以看起来有一点为故事而故事的刻意。不过我认为这部片子的主要魅力在于故事本身的角度精妙而出色，倒不一定非要表现得那么不露痕迹。
我在看这部片子时想到的并不仅仅是文化冲突（主要在我的生活中没有感受相似经历的机会），而是两代人之间的时代差异会造成的沟通问题。影片中似乎没有这个问题，除了儿子丹尼斯不理解大同说“打你是因为爱你”算是一个吧。我比较多感受到的来自中国传统文化的要求都是来自于我的母亲以及母亲面上的亲戚们，虽然父亲也是个比较传统的人，但他对我要求的方式却未曾让我感受到有不适的压力。母亲的亲戚们是一个大家庭，在我看来他们整体上都“意识形态色彩浓厚”，非常地注重中国传统道德礼仪，这当然也造成了他们的凝聚力非常地强。不过我从小感受到来着大家庭的诸多要求，带给我的记忆大部分都可以说不那么愉快。如果让我给类似于“打你是因为爱你”这样的话做一个价值判断的话，我无疑要说它是错的，并且我可以打一屏的字来批驳它。
最近上课，有个老师在课堂上对我们说：“文明之间当然是有高下之分的，像菲律宾这样居然会有人去香港游客出事的巴士前照相的民族，就是活该被人殖民。”当时我心里头就感觉我不能同意这种观点。
（虽然菲律宾人这种做法确实很二。）
我所想到的是：是不是正因为现在西方文明的那一套占优、占主流、属于强势，所以大家都觉得这一套才对？以至于不符合他们的文明的标准的民族就活该受欺负了……这套逻辑似乎又是弱肉强食的逻辑了。那如果非文明的做法占优势，是不是大家都要去推崇非文明了？如果道德、文明的标准可以套用适者生存的逻辑，无疑是将道德本身虚无化了。而两代人的沟通也是如此，现在是因为长辈们人数占优而且我还得靠他们养着，所以我就得遵守他们的规矩，而有一天他们终要年老体弱，轮到我们这一代人的思维方式抬头，然后我们再成为给下一代施加压力的长辈？
 
前几天见辩论队群里俩人吵架，想当年我也是个容易生气和人吵起来的人，所以倒是很明白其中一方的心情。吵架本身就是因为双方在意的焦点不一样，用来评断是非的那套逻辑也不是一回事。但吵到最后，在相互指责中，双方都只会对自己的那一套逻辑越来越执着。这样的吵架在效用上是等于零的，但是感情不能仅仅用效用来计算，所以往往还容易没完没了。实际上，每个人从小生长的环境都不一样，都可能形成属于自己的一套“应该”和“不应该”的判断标准，但是这套标准经常和别人不一样，经常也和事实并不一样：比如说你认为会给别人造成麻烦的事，事实上对别人来说并没有那么麻烦；你认为是每个人都轻易可以并应该做到的事情，也许对别人来说很困难。不带着觉察的心经常去验证一下，就会以为自己的标准这才是唯一的评判标准。
我并不是要批评这种状态，我想说其实最多受到自己的判断标准的限制和束缚的正是这个人自己。尤其是在表达善意和传达善意的方式上，一个人的内心经过了充分的生长和发展之后，应当是能够灵活地以各种方式来传达爱与接收到爱，而不是将自己的唯一正确的意志加给身边的人——这反而是贫乏的表现。就像我从小被教成一个要强的孩子，整个少女时代都是一个完全不会示弱的人，而且看到别的女孩子不要强反而受到更好的照顾时，心里头的那种不是滋味很容易就化作了攻击性——其实这个攻击性也是由好强的逻辑来的，结果事情越弄越糟。
尝试一下自己不习惯的状态并不妨碍人回到原来的选择，只是选择范围放宽很多了而已，并且从此也对和自己评价体系不同的人没有了敌意：什么都是有代价的，大家不过是各取所需，必要时还应该相互帮忙呢。
 
我见到过一句话：Sometimes,we love somebody complately without complete understanding.
我想这正是为人父母所给予孩子的，尽管因为时代变化得太快，经常方法不对、甚至造成反效果，但它也只是某一种模式，他们也只是茫然地面对着这个大时代的小人物，无所适从。就像影片中的中国传统文化，我也觉得它有很多问题，美国人应该更不能理解，但是并不能因为那是在美国，不理解的人人多势众，就说它是错误的。大同的老板能够亲自去中国城尝试刮痧，这是普通人所做不到的体谅，反过来说，也正是因为他是一个有自信、有安全感的人，才不惧于去推翻自己原有的判断。一个越是恐惧不安的人，越是不会去做自己认为“不应该”的事，因为他恐惧的是那套评判逻辑建立之初关于受惩罚的记忆，虽然实际上这种威胁可能早就不存在了。
面对一种自己不明白的评价机制，我想我们所能做到的只有耐心一点……再耐心一点……直到找到双方相处最合适的位置、距离和方式，不仅仅是对不同的文化，对长辈父母与后辈，对两性之间的心理差异，对怎样和不同的性格的人相处……这样说着，就想到自己做得并不好，基本还是别人宠着我。
不过我想：正如影片中那样，即使美国人不能理解中国人的思维，但最终能允许大同一家按照他们的方式生活，这本身对他们来说就是莫大的幸福吧。知道世界上不是只有一种正确的生活，不去对别人的生活方式指指戳戳，这也算是最简单的与人为善的方式了吧。

       这学期观看了同学推荐的电影《刮痧》，在影片的最后听见丹尼斯可爱稚嫩的声音，他在随着父母的教授念着：“中国、北京、长城……”我顿时百感交集，是喜悦，是愤慨，还是无奈？不知道该用怎样的语言来表达看完这部电影后的感受。我认为，《刮痧》是一部非常优秀的电影作品，适合不同文化程度的观众观看，具有诸多的成功之处。影片中的很多细节都给我留下了十分深刻的印象，因此想在这里跟大家分享一下。
    电影《刮痧》是一部反映中美文化冲突的影片，故事发生在美国中部密西西比河畔的城市圣路易斯。来美已经八年的许大同，事业有成家庭幸福，他把在北京生活的老父亲接到美国同住。一天，五岁的儿子丹尼斯闹肚子发烧，他的爷爷由于刚从北京到美国，不懂得药品上的英文说明，便用中国民间流传已久的刮痧疗法给丹尼斯治病，没想到这竟成了丹尼斯一次意外事故后许大同虐待孩子的证据。在法庭上，面对对刮痧这一传统中医疗法一无所知的美国法官，面对一个又一个意想不到的证人和证词，许大同有口难辩。法庭宣布剥夺许大同的监护权，不准他与儿子见面。一连串的矛盾冲突更是接踵而来，一个原来幸福美好的家庭就这样转眼间变得支离破碎……
    电影中的很多细节是值得咀嚼和深思的。一开始，许大同就说：“我爱美国！这里是我的家！”八年的美国生活已经让他有自信说自己是美国人，并且和其他美国人一样自豪地称爱国。但无论他的英文说的如何字正腔圆，心里对美国梦、美国生活有多么的热爱和眷恋，他骨子里的中国传统文化所根植的意识形态和思维方式却怎么也改变不了，这使得他在官司中处处碰壁。在为他举办的颁奖仪式上，丹尼斯和朋友的儿子打架，他会为给朋友面子而当众体罚自己的孩子，并坚称“打是疼骂是爱”，老爷子指出他这是“当面教子背后教妻呀”。后来，因为刮痧的事情他被指控“虐待儿子”，听证会上对方律师请来他那位上司证明他是否真的动手打过儿子，这位上司不敢对法官撒谎只能回答“yes”，许大同据此认为上司出卖了他而提出辞职，上司认为他所谓的因为尊重上司而打自己的儿子是不可理喻的“中国逻辑”时，许大同用汉语脱口而出“道不同不相与谋”。听证会上对方请的另一个证人是当年给他儿子接产的护士，这位护士指出他在危急时刻曾经说过“保大人不管小孩”，他又一次用汉语脱口而出“留得青山在，不怕没柴烧”，可见他在说出满口纯正英语的时候，骨子里根深蒂固的还是“中国式”思维。也许这就是中国美籍华人（或称移民）的生存状态：已经脱离了生长自己身体和灵魂的祖国，飘洋过海努力奋斗，但要最终融入这个文化、政治、意识形态完全不同的社会却又是那么困难。以至于在美国，他们好像是“东方人”，虽有绿卡但仍与美国普通民众格格不入，黑头发、黄皮肤是他们的一个“异类”标签；而和中国人比起来，他们又是不同的，他们在家里也要说一口纯正的英语，他们口口声声说自己爱美国，他们努力退去身上的中国印。同时，美国社会也是矛盾的对待着他们的，它接受他们作为它的子民，作为国家的成员，但在社会实际生活中却无处不存在着对东方人、黄种人（矛头指向的就是华裔）却充满了歧视、轻蔑和误解。最可怕的是，当这种误解、歧视和轻蔑和美国号称“民主、法制、科学”的政治、法律结合起来，就会产生如电影《刮痧》中一样看似闹剧，却让人看得轻松不起来的事情。
    美国人不了解中国的刮痧，法律上也不承认其合法性，许大同在听证会上很激动地讲着“人体的七经八脉像无数小溪流向江河又奔向大海，气发自丹田又回到丹田……”，没有一个法官或是律师能够听懂，他们要求找医学权威来证明，可是这样的权威在美国根本就没有，于是案情的发展越来越让人揪心甚至愤慨：儿子丹尼斯只能被放在福利院，和被父母抛弃的孩子生活在一起，以至于他认为父母是要抛弃自己；许大同这边的辩护却一次次失利……从《刮痧》中，我们看美国的法制，会发现一个很奇怪的现象：在这个社会政治和法律系统里，每一个人都在努力维护这个系统的健康、透明而民主的运转，因此会有揭竿而起报警的医生和护士，有为孩子的健康和权利而舌战不休的律师，有以说实话为自己责任的证人；但当遇到了他们所不理解或不了解的事情的时候，当另一个遥远国度的传统文化和他们的common sense产生冲突的时候，这种西方社会科学、严谨、民主的法律却成为他们固守自己偏执的一种武器，就如那个律师在法庭上故意惹怒许大同、用刻意曲解《西游记》的手段误导法官以达到自己赢得官司的目的。
    影片在后半部分有不少感人的镜头，老爷子找到许大同的朋友——一个做版权辩护的律师约翰，连比划带画图告诉他不是许大同给丹尼尔刮的痧，而是他刮的。约翰问许大同的妻子——蒋雯丽扮演的简宁：“为什么他在法庭上要说是他做的？”简宁回答：“因为他是中国人。”这真是一个意味深长的答案！大同和他的父亲、大同和他的儿子、老爷子和孙子之间发生的故事，皆因为他们是中国人，在中国司空见惯的事情与道理，到了美国却说不清楚了，一个深爱儿子的父亲被指控“虐待孩子”，却没有办法证明自己的无辜。
    故事的转折是从律师约翰这里开始的。约翰自己找了一个中医去体验刮痧，这位中医一边用英语给他介绍刮痧的原理，一边在他后背上刮出了深深地痧痕，然后让他用镜子看自己的后背，问他是否感觉这是“虐待”，约翰终于明白了一切。圣诞节的夜晚，约翰去找原告方，告诉对方他有一个“两千年的理由”。而另一边，大同和妻子协商了分居，这样儿子好歹可以和妈妈在一起，而爸爸则不允许靠近。圣诞节的夜晚，这位痴情的父亲因为被保安拒绝回到自己家里而选择了爬窗户，他扮演成圣诞老人从一层爬到了自家九层的窗户上，整个过程有惊无险，一家人终于团聚，约翰和原本起诉他们的劳瑞娜一起来告诉他们：法官已经撤回了禁令。” 最终，西方的法制和东方的传统在经历了苦难和艰苦的磨合后达到了一种“和解”和“融合”，孩子回到了父母的身边，妻子和丈夫也不再需要痛苦的分离。
    这真的是一部优秀的电影，不同文化之间的差异与冲突是主题，表达了作为移民的中国人在一个民主、法制但又充满对别国文化、尤其是中国传统文化误解的美国如何生存，如何融入美国的社会和政治生活，天生的不适应和排异性又让这种融合变得异常困难。但故事的结局是好的，我想，这个结局除了安慰台下心里早就为许大同遭遇感慨的观众们之外，更多的是想重复一个被外交家、政治家们重复了千万遍的真理：“无论是怎样的文化沟壑，只要相互交流就能达到谅解。”
    《刮痧》中的刮痧，刮在孩子身上，刮在美国的法制身上，刮在美籍华人的心上，也刮在了我们每一位观众的心上。也许刮后印记难看，但温热微暖的感觉，却总是好的。“人之初，性本善”，正是因为人性中有共通之处，异质文化才有了从冲突到融合的可能。融合来源于真心的交流，希望在不久的将来，一个“大同”的世界真的会出现在我们面前！