性爱自修室第三季

一个偏题的剧评。

最近看了sex education3，关注了其中的一个小点，就是这部剧里teens的媒介使用情况。

你会发现他们的媒介使用，更多的是某种“补充”，充当一种“开启”和“试探”的工具。比如：

“Let’s talk later.”

“Okay.”

一旦涉及到实质性的connection，他们便会在山顶上谈心和呐喊，他们会有肢体接触和性的交融，他们会冲到对方家里认错和表白，他们会写诗会赠送礼物。

当然其中也有涉及到“技术媒介主导的情节”

比如Eric回老家，只能和Adam发信息。Adam说 “I miss you.”，Eric虽看到了，却因为投入家庭聚会而没有回复。Adam为此靠在一个栏杆上，傻傻地等了很久很久。

我认为在这种情况下，媒介是增加了更多的模糊和不确定性，它甚至本身成为一个隐喻。它把人的关系局限化，技巧化，甚至造成一定程度的扭曲。

人与人之间无法理解，本来就是事实，没什么好怕的。我们自己都还处于流动的，建构自我的路上。要向别人准确表达自己，或许是一种天方夜谭。因此我们需要多一些信号，可能是声音的冷暖，可能是动作举止的不自觉流露，可能是表情的细微变化，也可能是笨拙却努力抒发的姿态。

Talk and listen，我觉得这是现代社会的原子化“个体”能向“他者”给出的最高的真诚和重视，背后藏着一种价值互换和深度认同。

我也问过自己有一个问题是“为什么非要有人懂你呢”———-我摸索出来的是：社会性是人逃不掉的咒印。事实上的“无法理解”不代表我们会终止这种信仰式的追寻。

而且我们总有给自己“找位置”“找身份”的需求。甚至再怎么infp，也起码会有想要认清自己的冲动。而定位自己，也会需要坐标轴和参照系。

所以我们本能地寻找哪怕一个两个人，重视他们，揣摩他们，在这种联结和情感共生里面，学习爱，学习人。

那媒介能帮到我们多少？麦克卢汉说“媒介延伸了人的器官”确实，它提供了很多很多的可能性，它让我看到不同世界的图景。

但媒介作为一种通道，它也某种程度把人“延迟”和“归驯”了。因为我们天然地，过度地相信它的传播还原度了；又对它编码功能的复杂性经常性地忽视和大意。

我用微信的初衷是为了达成更有效的联系，这是目的。 但我和别人微信联系的机会多了对误解也疯狂产生，所以最终与目的渐远。甚至很多文字潜规则和“微信社交礼仪”反过来加重我们的隔阂和交流负担。

最近，我越来越讨厌打字。若非要联络，会更多地选择发语音。哪怕我知道很多人不爱听语音，懒得听，会认为我缺胳膊缺手，我依然发展着这个“陋习”。

因为这是我对表达和沟通微不足道的一点坚持，也是对“媒介替代功能”无足轻重的抵抗。对于有些人，我宁愿一年只见面几次，或者对他们记忆存档，也不愿意每时每刻媒介里面“主观映射”对方的形象。

我觉得，物理的面对面，时空的重叠和共享，才是沟通的应有场所。

况且，我对人性持悲观态度，认为大部分人是复杂又浑浊的。我自己就是很糟糕的，我多面，我变幻，我撕裂。有些时候我很放纵自己“晕船效应”和“刻板印象”，对一些新识的人我就直接放弃交流，或者模式化应对，节约得不能再节约我的“沟通”。

但是对我喜欢的那些人，虽然总会有误解和矛盾，总会有信息和成长的不同步和延迟，但我现在开始相信we can talk and we can fix it.

只要沟通还存在，我就永远相信人类的感情。

前两季该剧御用歌手Ezra Furman献上了很多应景应情的bgm，心中最爱当属《Every Feeling》，颓废的嗓音让人立马入戏。

上面是歌名，下面的括号里是歌手。

E01

I Think We're Alone Now

（THE RUBINOOS）

Hound Dog - Single Version

（BIG MAMA THORNTON）

Right On Time

（EZRA FURMAN）

Land of 1000 Dances

（WILSON PICKETT）

Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)

（C+C MUSIC FACTORY）

Hour of Deepest Need

（EZRA FURMAN）

Oh Yeah

（YELLO）

Then She Kissed Me

（Mike Leander《hello》或Kiss《love gun》）

E02

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps (Quizas, Quizas, Quizas)

（DORIS DAY）

Fantastic Man

（WILLIAM ONYEABOR）

Piddily Patter Patter

（NAPPY BROWN）

Fuck The Pain Away

（MOORDALE ACAPELLA GROUP）

Dancing in Heaven (Orbital Be-Bop)

（Q-FEEL）

Can I Sleep in Your Brain

（EZRA FURMAN）

End of the Road

（AUDIO NETWORK）

Save a Prayer

（DURAN DURAN）

Sound of da Police

（KRS-ONE）

E03

Rock Me Gently

（ANDY KIM）

Macumba

（TITANIC）

Trans Mantra

（EZRA FURMAN）

Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels

（TODRICK HALL）

Space Romance

（WAVESHAPER）

The Man in Me

（BOB DYLAN）(4人约会扔保龄球)

Your Party

（WEEN）

Never My Love

（THE ASSOCIATION）

Frying Pan

（EZRA FURMAN）

Tender

（BLUR）

E04

Don't Sweat the Technique

(ERIC B. & RAKIM)

So Much Love To Do

(SCOUT NIBLETT, EMMA LOUISE NIBLETT）

Stormy Weather

(ETTA JAMES）

Mysterious Power

(EZRA FURMAN & THE HARPOONS）

La Ballade Des Gens Heureux

(GERARD LENORMAN, PIERRE DELANOE）

E05

Mon amour, mon ami

(MARIE LAFORÊT）

Dressed In Black

(EZRA FURMAN)

Hot Topic

(LE TIGRE)

Zou bisou bisou

(GILLIAN HILLS)

Zou bisou bisou

(GILLIAN HILLS)

Pump Up the Jam

(TECHNOTRONIC)

I Wanna Love

(SCOTT NIBLETT, KATH BLOOM)

The Breeze / My Baby Cries

(BILL CALLAHAN)

When I Live My Dream

(DAVID BOWIE)

Your Young Voice

(JONNY MUIR)

E06

Under Pressure

(QUEEN, DAVID BOWIE)

Oyejo

(FELA RANSOME KUTI & HIS KOOLA LOBITOS)

Sweet Mother

(PRINCE NICO MBARGA & ROCAFIL JAZZ INTERNATIONAL）

Oni Suru

(ODEYEMI）

Anybody

(BURNA BOY）

Short and Sweet

(BRITTANY HOWARD）“Adam回家用电脑给Eric回信，Adam父亲独自提着水果回家”

Fall

(DAVIDO）

star signs

(ODUNSI (THE ENGINE), RUNTOWN）

Joro

(WIZKID）

Attention

(TIWA SAVAGE）

E07

Hand Clapping Song

(THE METERS）

Glow in the Dark

(NIGHT FLOWERS）

Let's Go

(BILEO）

Fuck The Pain Away

(MOORDALE ACAPELLA GROUP）

Table for One

(EGO ELLA MAY）

Oogum Boogum Song

(BRENTON WOOD）

Going to Brighton

(EZRA FURMAN）

Breathe Your Name

(SIXPENCE NONE THE RICHER）

Twerk

(TENI THE ENTERTAINER）

E08

Summer Wine

(LEE HAZLEWOOD, NANCY SINATRA）

I'll Never Let My Girl Go

(NOBLE AND THE MATADORS）

Milkshake

(KELIS）

Hands of the Devil

(EERIE WANDA）

Save Me

(AIMEE MANN）“Adam写给渣男Eric的诗”

Moanin'

(ART BLAKEY）

Don't Turn Your Back on Love

(EZRA FURMAN & THE HARPOONS）

The Ballad of El Goodo

(BIG STAR）

原声EP

Trans Mantra

(EZRA FURMAN）

Going to Brighton

(EZRA FURMAN）

Frying Pan

(EZRA FURMAN）

Mysterious Power

(EZRA FURMAN & THE HARPOONS）

Don't Turn Your Back on Love

(EZRA FURMAN & THE HARPOONS）

是aimee发现了maeve不在车上，连负责数人的老师都没发现。男人都不靠谱，但姐妹会永远记着你。 这季对maeve加成最大的就是她和aimee的友情，两人互相陪伴互相温暖。结尾也是aimee鼓励maeve不要因为和otis交往了不想有变动就放弃前途，勇敢去美国求学 反而otis就有点拖后腿的意思，maeve考虑不去留学也是因为和otis刚交往她就这么离开不太好

女孩子的友情最珍贵！

A boy I don’t like told me to write from the heart

I didn’t know what that meant

Beacuse I never knew I had one

I never knew I had a heart

Till you said you kissed a boy I haven’t met

Then I knew I had a heart

Because I thought it might stop

And when I thought my heart might stop beating

I realized it had always been there

But it didn’t know how to feel

Until I thought about losing you

I knew we couldn’t last forever

I was waiting for this day

But I hope we can fix things

And if we can’t

I will always thank you

For showing me I have a heart

1.关于新角色：霍普校长

霍普一上场给人的感觉就是干练，乐于倾听，要扭转学校的局面，让莫戴尔重新成为卓越的代名词，一种理性权威的形象，而且还声称自己支持女性主义。但是她对教育的态度；学生遇到问题提出建议，不去反思问题背后的根源，而是去解决提出问题的学生，简单粗暴的解决方式；对于舆论的处理等一系列手段，将其形象进行了一个大反转——她不过是一个披着开放民主外皮的保守分子，宣称自己支持女性主义实则有厌女倾向而不自知的一个女性。

霍普你了解什么叫女性化特质吗？

整季她从开始要树立理性的权威，到随着时间和冲突的爆发，这个理性权威的外皮慢慢褪去，暴露出她的无力和非理性权威的一面。

学生作为学校一个重要的群体，霍普是这样跟他们对话。

那什么是理性的权威，在弗洛姆《自我的追寻》中是这样说明：

理性的权威是由健全的能力产生出来的。权威受到尊重的人，对于授权力给他的那些人所赋予的使命，必定能够圆满的执行。他对这些人不需要加以威胁，也不须以神秘的特质去博取他们的赞颂。他只要做到有相当助益的、不剥削的地步，他的权威就算是理性的而且不需要别人的畏惧。理性的权威不但容许而且需要由受这种权威约束的人予以检讨和批评；理性的权威始终是暂时性的，它是否被接受端视其行使的情形而定。理性的权威以拥有权威者和受权威约束者双方的平等为基础，只是关于知识程度或某方面的特殊技能有所差别而已。

而霍普只是学校传统领导的一个缩影，他们一方由于自身利益的关系，规定服从是最佳的德行。一方面对问题，只会围追堵截，无视问题背后的根源，无视师生群体的真实感受，直至问题爆发，一发不可收拾。

2.关于“阳刚气”男性刻板印象

论述男性刻板印象的话语，你能想到什么。“男儿有泪不轻弹。”，“你这个样子，不像个男人。”“作为一个男人，你应该......，不然你不算男人。”就像对女性的规训“你应该......，不然怎么是个好女人。”而对女性的规训更细分繁杂，这里不细说。

强调刻板印象，压抑了个人去探索和实现自己潜能的可能，窄化了我们对真实个人的想象，容易产生错误的认知和判断。

当亚当去尝试彩妆，当他呈现出一种与刻板的“阳刚气”男性形象不同的感觉时，他其实是快乐的。

而别人评价他娘炮时，他正面去对话，其实反而是别人狭隘局促。

亚当父亲去珍家还书，在聊天中珍问你感受过快乐吗？亚当父亲说没有。当亚当父亲开始去反思，寻找生活的乐趣，尝试烹饪，感受到其中的乐趣，想同兄弟去分享，他的兄弟却嘲笑了他，亚当父亲的那种愤怒。

这段独白太精彩了。

3.生育意味着什么？

珍是我三季以来最喜欢的一个角色，她是那么的有魅力，睿智，跳脱，给予他人温暖与力量。

美颜暴击

但是面对高龄产妇的身份，与伴侣的不合，儿女的隔阂，她显得如此的疲惫和无力。比起第一季，第三季她真的变苍老脆弱了，她看起来好孤独。很多镜头都渲染了这一点。

抱抱珍

生育之艰难疼痛，生死一线之隔，即使是珍，这个看起来厉害的凡人，也无计可施。

珍产后大出血

有完美的母亲吗？没有的，有的只是暗地里咬牙担起责任的肉体凡胎的女性。

很讨厌“为母则刚”这个词，它给我一种道德绑架女性的感觉，这种身份的重量并没有解决现实的问题。刚生育完那种精疲力尽，麻药散退后撕裂的疼痛，胸部涨奶疏通时疼痛，下身恶露的排出，不能沐浴身体的黏腻等等各种不适。一群人围着皱巴巴的孩子说漂亮，生育完的母亲孤零零的躺在病床上，走来一个长辈说：“女人嘛，难免的。”一句话就把一切痛苦一笔带过。这是我在病房看见的情况，更别说怀孕期间的种种磨难。

选择生育的女性真的很坚强，她需要的不仅仅是话语的赞赏和理解宽容，她更需要实质上的行动和帮助。而关于生育中，孩子要出来时，她要去承受的那份痛苦，只属于她，无人能与之共享。

看到后面觉得霍普挺可怜的，上一次去医院咨询，她也是一个人去的，她的丈夫去了哪里。

养育孩子的方式很多，如果这种方式不行，为什么不可以换一种？你的身体不是一个工具呀。

不能生育意味着什么？会否定女性自身价值吗？

4.Girls help girls

当年长一些的女性同年轻的女性在一起时。

这一幕真的很感动。

在面对困惑时，年轻的女性可以安心向身边年长一些更有生活经验的女性寻求建议，年长一些的女性可以平和的去分享自己的看法，而不是用着教育和指导的口吻。

青春期的时候，想拥有的长辈。

同龄女性她们会聊些什么。

在面对原生家庭的创伤时。

前路迷茫时。

我好喜欢第三季里一些女性相处的感觉，是那么的美好。例如Meave和Aimee她们互相倾诉，互相扶持，当然她们也会吵架，互揭伤口，不理对方，可当对方出现问题，马上冲上前去，那种讲义气的feel。

第三季有好多感动温暖我的地方，截取了一些片段来分享。

这一季它表现的那么丰沛，让我看完一遍，还想再看几遍，去捕捉我一口气看完而错过的风景。

最后也是一些很戳我的细节。（如果在吃东西，请谨慎观看。）

我们应该相信我们每个人不是孤岛，我们偶尔可以看看周围：怎么世界有着残酷的一面，它时不时转身又让我们看见美好的一面。世界可真调皮啊。

而有时不妨坐下来，听听比自己年龄小一些，看起来没有那么权威的青年们的话语。

珍，你的儿子有在慢慢成长哦~

爱不是加于人身上的一种较大力量，也不是落在他身上的责任：爱是他本身的力量，藉此人使自己和外界联系在一起并使这个世界真正成为他的世界。

两位可爱的老师。

感谢你的阅读，我是Daisy呀~，最近新开了微信公众号“成河的漫想”，一起来玩耍呀。

Sex Education has outdone itself once again. Season 3 still managed to bring bold, progressive, hilarious, quizzical, whimsical, dynamic, educational concepts, group of characters and stories back to us.

Spoiler alert!!!

Maeve- the brave

Maeve is one of my favourite characters in Sex Ed. She is a brave, defiant prodigy. She always knows what she wants, sometimes in doubt (mostly because of her shitty family- the irresponsible junkie mother and the reckless, unconstrained brother), she just needs a little push to step up and do the right thing. She cares about the meaning of life, the meaning of being right and wrong, and the meaning of working hard towards a goal. Her socio-economic background might hold her back but she has a lot to offer to the community. Being independent, business savvy and tough to her cohort is just one side of her, she is actually really gentle and aimiable to the people she loves- Aimee, Otis and her family. Don't be too harsh on her, Maeve is only seventeen. Think about all of the bad decisions you made when you were a teenager, besides her socio-economic background totally pulls her back.

I love how she encouraged Aimee and accompanied her to go to the police right away after being sexually harassed on the bus, she was being supportive all the way to the end. When Aimee was in denial, she cleared her doubts and explained the entity of the assault. Aimee shouldn't ignore it, she should face it and manage to resolve it. Maeve was being a really good friend.

When Dex panicked about his insecurities, Maeve explained how pleasure should be balanced on both sides, statistics doesn't matter, what matters is whether both of you are enjoying it to the similar extent. Kyle was right, they really excelled at giving advice.

Another thing I love about Maeve is how well-read she is. She loves reading about philosophy and feminism and thinking critically. She is able to use her talent and strength to achieve what she wants. Books definitely helped her to ponder and grow, even though she doesn't have an intact, healthy family to nurture her, she can manage to find a job and provide herself actual and mental sustenance. Although being bullied, she knows how to tell from right to wrong, helping Ruby to find the bully is more important than figitating on what happened in the past (when she was bullied). She knows the meaning of moving on. This is probably one of the reasons she choose to move in with Anna: " you can never be lonely with the company of a good book." And possibly a cup of really good tea.

When it comes to Otis, Maeve becomes insecure, shy and hesitant. Maybe it is because Otis is her first crush. Crush is always special and unique. Unlike other guys around her, Otis is not sophisticated or insensitive, he is generally decent, sweet, polite and slightly mentally mature. He would ask whether it is okay to make a move or do the appropriate things. Maeve probably thinks he is the sunshine in her 'miserable', insecure life. What she doesn't know is Otis thinks exactly same. Otis will always be there for Maeve, he runs to see her everytime. He waited for Maeve patiently when Maeve went to the abortion clinic and thought it was an actual date (Maeve invited him because she felt safe when she was with Otis). Otis was so attentive to Maeve after she came out from the clinic. If it weren't for Isaac's dirty move (deleting a private voice message on other people's phone is a vile decision), they are probably together by now. They missed each other because of it, when they finally kissed at the petrol station, everything was different- there were Ruby and Isaac in between them. They have been in different places for a while. And this time, they will literally be in different place- Maeve has decided to go to the States to follow her dream.

Otis Milburn

Ruby: "You are good at sex, Otis. But that doesn't mean I want to be seen in public with you."

Otis: "Well, I don't want to be seen in public with someone who is mean and uses people for their good sex skills! I have more self-repect than that. We are done!"

Lots of people were blaming Otis for not saying "I love you" back to Ruby, this part of audience empathized Ruby's feeling of getting hurt, but I would applause Otis for not saying "I love you" just because he could. Their relationships started with casual sex, Ruby was sad about her father being ill and disabled. She needs comfort and a means of venting out. A cute guy who is quiet, adequate, and most importantly, he has a sense of respecting female, was just right for her. He would cause no fuss for her. Otis is a decent, sensitive guy who knows about sex, gender and who would treat people respectfully and equally. He was taught well by his well-educated, well-read, sensible mother. He would ask whether it is okay to go further, which shows respect and care of his partner. The relationship between Otis and Ruby was like two people dancing tango- when Otis was trying to get to know Ruby, Ruby chose to shut herself and her family from him. When she finally realised that she was falling in love with him, Otis wasn't ready. The reason why he wasn't ready was because there was never a closure from his feelings for Maeve, in other words, he always likes Maeve, he said he loves Maeve in the voice message. This love didn't fade, it was only buried when he didn't receive any response from Maeve. He was frustrated, he was angry again with Maeve. Yet neither of them knew the message was deleted by Isaac, neither of them was at fault. Thus he knew that he can't say "I love you" back to Ruby when he still has feelings for Maeve, it would not be right. It is not fair for Ruby, it is not fair for himself, and it is not fair for his love to Maeve.

Hope Haddon

Good morning, Moordale! I am your head teacher, Mrs. Haddon, but you can call me Hope. The first thing you need to know about me is that I used to be sitting where you are now. Literally. I went to Moordale too. I've achieved a lot since then. Two degrees, teaching positions at some of the country's top institutions, and by 28, I became the youngest head teacher in the UK. But the years I spent in this building were the best of my life. This school not only encouraged me to excel academically, but it truly allowed me to find my purpose, which is why it has been so hurtful to read some of the horrible things written about Moordale in the press. I don't know what went wrong or how we ended up here, but I do know, it changes today. I can promise you today, if you work hard and you take pride in your school, I will get Moordale and your futures back on track.

I believe when everyone heard Hope's speech at the asembly, they would assume that she was here to bring hope to Moordale (it's corny, but people need it). Eric thinks the head teacher is cool ("teachers are not cool, but she is!"), Ruby loves her bold lipstick colour, everyone adores her by the way she talks. The speech is absolutely a crowd pleaser. And when she asked to meet Maeve and Otis, she complimented their idea of the sex clinic as "entrepreneurial and shows business savvy", she cares about students' career aspirations and passions, this was something the previous headmasters didn't mention or care. Students love cool, considerate and thoughful adults who would put their well-beings (physically and mentally) in the first place. This was why Vivienne was so keen to become Hope's eyes and ears wherever she goes because she worships Hope and sees her as a successful career woman (also she was determined to get into a good university).

Now technically, Hope didn't do anything wrong. She just did what management would usually choose to do for the sake of the whole picture, which was to get sponsorship and funding for the school, particularly for the students and teachers who desparately needed it. She has to be meticulous about her decisions and be deferential to the Board. The Board chose her to make changes and she needs the Board to back her up. Bureaucracy always exists in a top-down system, Hope just did what she was asked to do, she was being realistic. However, adolescents wanted their individualities to be seen, to be heard, to be unique- idealism and realism don't see eye to eye. After Hope has shown her intention to maintain good PR for the school from the press explicitly, she started to be oppressive, she became harsh on the students' individualities- non-binary sex intolerance, LGBTIQ unfriendly, alien hypersensitivity, draconian on-campus disciplines, naming and shaming the rebels. The antagonism between students and Hope climaxed when she negated Vivienne's thoughts and shamed her peers. Vivienne can't endure her actions anymore. They demolished Hope's idea and system.

Jean Milburn & Aimee

I can't help but sharing Jean and Aimee's conversation, it's very encouraging and heartwarming. Their interactions are just so fun to watch. Jean is such a professioanl sex psychologist. I just appreciate the way that she guides aimee and assists her to navigate through the pond of confusion, self-doubt and complication.

Thank you for reading my article to the very end. I might add more when I watch it again.

Please let me know if you would like to repost my article, I reserve the orginal copyright. Thank you.

Angel

21/09/24